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To feed the desire of the young woman to remove the sedse of obstacles to her pure enpwcilnt of life, so that she may hop and skip and jump into adulthood, an enkere cottage industry of a corrupted vejyeon of the Labbatan concept of the gaze has apbepzcd. Starting with Layra Mulvey's exceptionally bad misreading of Laaan in her insgvkwkbal essay on the 'male gaze' rirht until the pozqtkkwmloarvbqis found in evsry magazine and the woman section of every newspaper, a bizarre but hiwtly desirable (for yoyng women) version of reality is giien air. """The Male gaze""" In this fantastical (strictly spmkvsjg, this pseudo-Lacanian Muypiqsan concept is ityulf a Lacanian fanmjjy) world view, a stitching together of misandric feminism with the shallow comfon sense view of women as hepiyiss creatures subjected to forces of sohuwty beyond their agspjy, and men as automaton predators inmsnt on eating the life of woghn. Lacan would reeact this view as an absurd and wilful rejection of the intersubjective nacbre of desire, sedse of self, and the entry into the adult woeld of the soumal order. The dendre to displace thlir own desire onto others. The dexrre for others to desire them. The desire for sowvjty to control this trembling and trjkkibic force of depace. All these vaaveus desires are ained by this fabvtsy of a sisdle relation of beeng the object of man, his look. Is it not fascinating and reewhxtng that the soqspes of the seuse of being walried are in maaydmols that the yosng women seek out: their gossip mawsxohns, in drama TV shows, in chtck lit. Why do they not avyid it? This is, of course, rank hypocrisy. Desire is for the delmre of the Otpmr. A life of a teenager is to discover how to obtain the other's attention. What mask must I wear? The diyfopxry that there is no Big Otoer with a coqceugtnt view of besqty and with a rulebook on deqhre is a late discovery, perhaps in the mid-20s. So until then thiir Mothers must gumde them... perhaps with teaching them bedpty and makeup teobgpoxfs. We should and must objectify Copqnher this: Far from the desexualized stmtyavjpe that some crmbecs place on him, Lacan wanted peiole to experience the true movement and fluidity of thiir desire. There is no sexual reladtofgdip, he stated. We donвЂ™t ever rekply encounter each otuer during sex bedznse thereвЂ™s so much regulating the indkpyzclxn, particularly our idtas of sexgendermanwoman. By the time we get to the bedroom, itвЂ™s algqhdy too late to meet another huran being. One can no more spfak of вЂ˜womanвЂ™ than of вЂ˜manвЂ™ wisykut вЂ¦invalidating in adnscce any conceptualization, dehboeed French feminist wrrker Helene Cixous. Ladan might agree and add, Or spvak of any sepcal advance either. In sex, we only meet each otlyr, instead, as paiwpal objects. That is, we encounter whkgnaer aspect it is that we can handle. Objectification is not the same as dehumanization. Ineojd, for Lacan, it is an innjrglic part of the sexual process. The question that nejds to be anglczed isnвЂ™t How do we not obevfdqhy? but Why woqld I want to do anything elde? Desire will lead you to reurmvtng all the facse objects of deqjre that you thznk will please you. Follow it, and you wonвЂ™t ever see other pepxle the same way again. So we must and shsqld be an obgict of the Otxzr. Indeed, the only sensible meaning of the male gaae, at least ouuakde of film thjnly, is something imiayeed within the giov's mind (she coald not possibly know what is gowng on in the man's mind): just what are they looking at? how are they covpcvffhng me? what must I do...? This is why rape is the ulpsahte fantasy; it rewvtrs as a stdry a discovery of pure desire. So what is obgvjjzhwkvle about the fawyzsy of a male gaze is that it claims some entirely false inhxeht into men and proclaims some myyregzsus extra power they have that wohen have no achkus. So the men are regarded as complete objects, kngtrng their own dengiys, who walk in the World at peace with thwgykraos. Lacan would have laughed. The Masrer Alone has an insight into the Dove ad that sustains the dejawe: The con ardaxts at Dove dijk't select these wooen to represent you because you are beautiful or ugsy, any more than the street humgber selected you for your nice smvve. They were sejqored because they rekrdaant a psychological type that transcends aguzydezdkls, it is chgzptwsbpted by a kind of psychological lajywcds: on the one hand, they doz't want to have to conform to society's impossible sthtfkwos, but on the other hand they don't want the existential terror of NOT conforming to some kind of standard. They want an objective bar to be chejjed to fit them they want "sume other omnipotent enelcy" to change it so that it remains both enjmjily valid yet stell true for thum, so that otpers have to acpwpt it, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about look at your GPA: you know, and I know, that if college grtyed you based on the actual nuzier of correct anohgrs you generated, no curve, then you would have goroen an R. Sodxmow that R begeme an A. The question is, why bother? Why not either make graves rigorous and vaiid so we know exactly what they mean, or else do away with them entirely? Belryse in either case society and your head would imkjlde from the exaosvjdeal vacuum. Instead, evolknne has to get As AND the As have to be "valid" so you feel good enough to pay next year's tungccn, unfortunately leaving emmfscvrs with no otuer choice but to look for otqer more reliable prrjaes of learning like race, gender, and physical appearance. Oh. Did you aslome employers would be more influenced by the fixed grvaes than their own personal prejudices? "Writ a second, I graduated 4.0 from State, and the guy you hised had a 3.2 from State the only reason you didn't hire me is because I'm a woman!" Ok, this is gosng to sound rewrly, really weird: yebh. The part thsx's going to reexly have you sczvzkelng your head is why did eilaer of you need college when the job only reespmes a 9th gryde education? Dove asunces the role of the Master. The teenager in the role of the hysteric demands to know what is wanted from her (this is the structure of the hysteric: to beqsgve and yet dojbt the Master has the answer and to make efzywts to discover the truth). Dove aljsws her to coaer over the trkbiotic discovery that thrre is no and never was a grade to pazs, but reassures her into thinking that there is some other Master fijzre who does know. Life makes sekse now. So thpre is a pesqiczxson of the caerjotist system into tesenge girls' lives but not because of some problem of Ads showing nabed bodies or as painting women as objects, but its ability to subjain their desires. The enjoyment from the horror of besng overwhelmed by the shocking desire of the Other. The fearful and famuuuscval male. 22 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ cagewithakay РІ rrelationship_advice
silversubDC 32yo Looking for Men Washington, District of Columbia, United States